• Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
• The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
• Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.
• Don’t aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
• Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.
• Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.
• Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
• If you think nobody cares whether you’re dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments
• Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
• If at first you don’t succeed, avoid skydiving.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
• Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
• If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
• Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.
• Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
• Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.
• The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
• A closed mouth gathers no feet.
• There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.
• Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much if your lips are moving.
• Never miss a good chance to shut up.
• Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
• When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse
• The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
• Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

Pick your birthday month and know yourself better

♥ JANUARY = GORGEOUS
Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand.An awesome kisser. Thinks far with vision,yet complicated to know. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay.sexiest out of everyone. Choosy and always wants the best.

♥ FEBRUARY = ATTITUDE
Abstract thoughts. Outgoing.Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive.Fun to be around with.A real speed demon. Has more than one best friend. Able to cheer anyone up and make them laugh. Amazing smile. An awesome kisser. Temperamental. Honest. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

♥ MARCH = FLIRTATIOUS SLUT
You’ve got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner, a wicked hottie. Like somebody with an August brithday. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. When it comes to films, you know how to pick them and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself – heck, you’ve got the looks for it!!!

♥ APRIL = PIMP
APRIL means that your really good looking. Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves travelling. Dislike being at home. Restless. having many children.
Hardworking. High spirited.

♥MAY = SEXY♥
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Sweet talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Does work well with others. Very confident. An awesome kisser. Sensitive. A very good girlfriend/boyfriend. Amazing Smile. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Has All The Characteristics of John Carrico Bubbly personality. Suductive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Super sexy. Extremley hot but has brains.

♥ JUNE = PORN STAR
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Very easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Understanding. Fun to be around. Nympho-and an awesome lover too….makes u happy so that makes them happy… Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Boy/girl crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and travelling. Systematic. Hot but has brains.

♥ JULY = BIG WHORE
outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. no self control. kind hearted. self confident. loud and boisterous. VERY revengeful. easy to get along with and talk to. has an “every thing’s peachy” attitude. likes talking and singing. loves music. daydreamer. easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. loves to be loved. hates studying. in need of “that someone”. longs for freedom. rebellious when withheld or restricted. lives by “no pain no gain” caring. always a suspect. playful. mysterious. “charming” or “beautiful” to everyone. stubborn. curious. independent. strong willed. a fighter.

♥ AUGUST = THUG
You a strait up “Geek” Attractive personality.Very! sexy.Affectionate & Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic.Chatterbox! Loves to talk alot! Loves to get their way! . Unbelievable kisser! Easily angered. Very stubborn in the most way possible! Loves to get noticed! Willing to take risks for others. Makes good choices. Has a great fashion sense! Maybe a little too popular with others * wink wink*. Outgoing and crazy at times! Intelligent. Can sometimes be a heartbreaker! Can love as much as possible! Hates insults. Loves compliments! A very big flirt! Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. The best in bed out of ANY of these months!! Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

♥ SEPTEMBER = LOSER
Active and dynamic. Decisive and haste but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. onsoling, friendly and solves people’s problems.Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have any friends. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

♥ OCTOBER = 12” CONDOM
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because their one of a kind.
♥ NOVEMBER = HOTTIE
Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover. Great kisser.

♥DECEMBER = FREAK IN BED
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Great in bed. Inner and physical beauty. Doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. A meaningful love life partner. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. It is all about love and fairness. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Horny but does fullfill. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Knows what to do to have fun. Unpredictable. Someone to have close to you.Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND exiest of them all.

I came across this really cool video on youtube and wanted to share it with all my friends and supporters.

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone
we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.
I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that that lit up her entire being.

She said, “Hi, handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?” I laughed
and enthusiastically responded, “Of course you may!” and she gave me a giant squeeze.

“Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?” I asked.

She jokingly replied, “I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, have a couple of children, and then retire and travel.”

“No seriously,” I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

“I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!” she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and share a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends.
Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop.
I was always mesmerized listening to this “time machine” as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us.
She was introduced and stepped up to the podium.
As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, “I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for
Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.”

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began: “We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only few secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. “You have to laugh and find humor every day.
You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!”

“There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing,
you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for
a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding the opportunity in change.”

“Have no regrets. The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do.
The only people who fear death are those with regrets.”

She concluded her speech by courageously singing The Rose. She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in
our daily lives. At the years end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Remember : GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY, GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL

1. Regular naps prevent old age… Especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without…
But whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

8. You can’t buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books

This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE.

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady

nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage,

I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.

The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings.

I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.

My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity,

and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision,

that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought.

My feeling of disappointment only increased.

Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament,

so what else could I expect from him?

A nd finally he asked me: “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right… It’s hard to change a person’s personality,

and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: “Here is the question.

If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff,

and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?”

He said: “I will give you your answer tomorrow….

” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone,

and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass,

on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you,

but….please allow me to explain the reasons further…..

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

” When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs,

and you cry in front of the screen.

I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind,

thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city.

I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month.

I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism.

I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

Y ou always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes.

I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old,

I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs.

So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach,

as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…

and tell you the colour of flowers,

just like the colour of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than

I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die … ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. ..

And as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer,

and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for

I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face,

clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he

does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away,

and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms.

It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form …

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship.

Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… AND THAT’S LIFE

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people, who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1 while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, may be more, and yet never ever expected to complain, to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life as a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this…………..

Please appreciate “HER”!!!!!