Apni Biwi ko apni 100% kamai dene se 10% Sukh milta hai.
Kisi doosri ko apni kamai ka 10% dene pe 100% sukh milta hai
Paisa apka … Faisla apka …
 
“Funny but true fact !!
A woman worries about her future till she gets a husband,
A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife !! ……..
What do u say???????????
 
A Man before marriage is – Superman.
After Marriage – Gentleman.
5 Years Later – Watchman.
10 Years later – Apne Hi Jaal Mein fasaa hua Spiderman.
 
Life may hamesha Haste raho, muskrate raho, gaate raho, gungunate raho…
thaki tumhe dekh kar hi log samaj jaye ki……………
Tum… “KUWARE” ho…..
 
Wife- agar main kho gayi to tum kya karoge?
Husband – main TV aur newspaper mein Ad dunga ki jaha kahin bhi ho…..
KHUSH RAHO
 
Why love marriage is better than Arranged????
B’coz a “KNOWN DEVIL” is better than an “UNKNOWN GHOST”.
 
Wife: main tumhari yaad mein Bees din mein hi aadhi ho gayi hoon,
mujhe lene kab aa rahe ho?
HUSBAND: Bees din aur ruk jaao.
 
A man gave an add in Matrimonial column “PATNI CHAHIYE”
He got 1000 replies all saying:- “Meri Le Ja…!”, ”Meri Le Ja…!”
 
Husband to Hotel Manager: “Jaldi chalo! meri biwi khidki se kud kar jaan dena chahti hai”
Manager: “What can I do?
Husband: “Kamine, khidki nahi khul rahi hai.”
 
Every person is a FREEDOM FIGHTER …….. Immediately after Marriage!!
 
Telling a lie is a fault for a little boy, an art for a lover, an accomplishment for a bachelor and a Matter of Survival for a married man.
Good Luck!
 
Woh kahte hain ki hamari biwi swarg ki Apsara hai,
Hum ne kaha khushnaseeb ho bhai, hamari to abhi Jinda hai…

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never com e..
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
——————————————————— -
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged..
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women and then he turns them into Wives.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like Dal RICE, eaten when there’s no choice.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want then, when you see what the other person has,
you wish you had ordered that.

SAFETY FIRST!!!

Equation 1.

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Human = Donkey + Work + enjoy

Therefore:
Human-enjoy = Donkey + Work

In other words,
A Human that doesn’t know how to enjoy = Donkey that works.

Equation 2.

Man = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Man = Donkey + earn money

Therefore:
Man-earn money = Donkey

In other words
Man who doesn’t earn money = Donkey

Equation 3.

Woman= eat + sleep + spend
Donkey = eat + sleep

Therefore:
Woman = Donkey + spend
Woman – spend = Donkey

In other words,
Woman who doesn’t spend = Donkey

To Conclude:

From Equation 2 and Equation 3

Man who doesn’t earn money = Woman who doesn’t spend

So Man earns money not to let woman become a donkey!
And a woman spends not to let the man become a donkey!

So, We have:

Man + Woman = Donkey + earn money + Donkey + Spend money

Therefore from postulates 1 and 2, we can conclude
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys that live happily together!

“Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has no pleasures.” – Samuel Johnson

“An old man who marries a young wife grows younger – but she grows older.” – folk saying

“It is not uncommon for slight acquaintances to get married, but a couple really have to know each other to get divorced.” – anonymous quote

“Every marriage tends to consist of an aristocrat and a peasant.” – John Updike

“Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.” – Goethe

“The people people have for friends
Your common sense appall
But the people people marry
Are the queerest folk of all.”
- Charlotte Perkins Gilman

“Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for.” – Mae West

“A happy home is one in which each spouse grants the possibility that the other may be right, though neither believes it.” – Don Fraser

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.” – Mignon McLaughlin

“Marriage is a fine institution – but I’m not ready for an institution.” – Mae West

This story tells us something about LOVE & LIFE.

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady

nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage,

I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it.

The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings.

I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.

My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity,

and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision,

that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked.

“I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought.

My feeling of disappointment only increased.

Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament,

so what else could I expect from him?

A nd finally he asked me: “What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right… It’s hard to change a person’s personality,

and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: “Here is the question.

If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff,

and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?”

He said: “I will give you your answer tomorrow….

” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone,

and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass,

on the dining table near the front door, that goes….

My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you,

but….please allow me to explain the reasons further…..

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

” When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs,

and you cry in front of the screen.

I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.

You always leave the house keys behind,

thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city.

I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month.

I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism.

I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

Y ou always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes.

I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old,

I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs.

So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach,

as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand…

and tell you the colour of flowers,

just like the colour of the glow on your young face…

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than

I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die … ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. ..

And as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer,

and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for

I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk…

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face,

clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he

does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away,

and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms.

It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form …

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship.

Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… AND THAT’S LIFE

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people, who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family name;

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1 while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen;

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, may be more, and yet never ever expected to complain, to be a servant, a cook, a mother, a wife, even if she doesn’t want to; and is learning just like you are as to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise;

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important, relationship in her entire life as a grand success, if you just help her some and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this…………..

Please appreciate “HER”!!!!!